*Blogged June 12, 2011
I usually don’t talk about weight loss on my blog. Mainly because my weight has been one of those secret touchy subjects that I typically don’t acknowledge. Lately, it’s been scaling up demanding to be seen and adressed. If it’s not when I’m getting dressed and realizing that the same dress that fit perfectly three months ago is now asking how the hell I got it over my thighs, then it’s showing up in conversation and forums where women are pouring out their guts (literally) and sharing what they did or need to do to drop some much unwanted pounds.
Unwanted? Yes, unwanted. This is where things have been getting tricky for me lately. As I go deeper into my own food relationship, I’ve been seeking out what my true desire is. Is it to have a third piece of the cake I just baked? Is it to run out and find the very nachos that I just thought of while remembering Cinco de Mayo? Or is it to allow myself to feel the unease because the entrepreneurial journey right now is testing? Whatever it really is, it’s the source of my true desire.
When I hear women talk about their “unwanted” pounds, I also hear
“ I don’t want to take responsibility” for how I got here in the first place.
I recently delivered a workshop entitled Guiltless Indugence™: A Dine and Refine Attitudes toward Food at Execumama’s With Mom in Mind retreat. In the workshop I shared strategies for how women can indulge in what they like/love without eating the guilt. One of those strategies was to take responsibility for your body and your food. Feed your body what it needs to thrive at it’s best emotionally, physically, sensually and spiritually.
I shared with the group, that I got to a place where I was able to look at myself and realize that my thoughts created the very body that I was despising. The negative, the feeling sorry for myself, the feelings of unworthiness led me on many a binge journey, indulging in food for the sake of not wanting to feel. Which leads me back to the “unwanted”.
What is it that you want/truly desire? How is it that you want your body to look? These questions are what really feed us.
Answering them, helps us move from a place of deficit and being out of touch, to a placce of desire and beginning to heal our bodies, our food and our selves.
I’ll be talking about my weight a lot more now. I’m glad I finally got to this point, who knows what’s over the rainbow. What I do know, is I want to occupy my body again. I want to own it the way Tyra owns fierce and Right Said Fred own sexy. I want to whisk around and feel the way my muscles conspired in unison to get me there.
“I want to look at cake and say yes and no, whichever suits the moment.”
I want to love my food relationship and more importantly I want YOU to love yours.
Onward march…..
Shelley, The Food Relationship Coach™
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Marching…
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Thank you for sharing this lovely post! Very inspirational!!
Thanks! You are more than welcome
Well you always look great! The same thing about how to address excess weight applies to every aspect of what you want to improve in life. I always say, let me stop feeling down and take the proper steps to change the situation or address the issues that got me here.
Gyrl, I feel what you are saying. I am an emotional eater and have recently gained like 15 lbs. I cant fit any clothes – just stretch pants and those boy shirts
I eat bad food and then feel crappy all the next day only to eat bad again that night. The cycle stems from channeling my sadness from stress in my current relationship and also I use it to bond this relationship. Cultural anthropology acknowledges the role that food plays in all cultures and how it is used to bond people. As a foodie, i want to indulge in different types of food but I also know that I need to feed my body nutrients and that portion size has to be reduced as well as balance in what I eat!
@Yolanda, that is one of the big challenges isn’t it girl!!?!??! How do we funnel our love for bonding through food into a healthy channel? When we use the very food to help us though those emotional and physical bonds? I always say that it can be used to heal or destroy. We have to remain present enough in our bodies (emotional and physical) to know which body is driving our desire to eat and why.
You are so right Lotus! So much of this blog’s purpose is to really get women (myself included) to look at the relationships we have with the many facets of our live and apply these (food relationship) principles to those areas as well. I’m really happy that you’ve fostered and honored your ability to take a step back and take a step up for your happiness!
I was at the workshop with Sauda and Thoroughly enjoyed your presentation. It is difficult not to hold food hostage and place blame on food when it comes to weight and body issues. My body changed earlier this year due to a pregnancy that didn’t make it past 3 months , so when I look at my new body, I see weight gain with nothing to show for it. I haven’t dieted since my summer before high school but now I worry more than I ever have since then. I just want to accept and LOVE my body and appreciate my food in tandem !
@Carla. I share your sentiments. I too experienced pregnancy that did not come to term (which I’ve yet to talk about on this blog, I think I’ll be sharing that story soon) and it was a challenging process to accept the changes that my body went through in addition to dealing with everything else pregnancy brings. I’m not a fan of dieting and I rarely think that they’re our answer. I do however believe in what I term Culinary Culture™ -essentially your eating lifestyle or diet. A huge part of acceptance is related to our relationship with ourselves and the deeper feelings we hold within. I don’t believe that food can present wholeness and acceptance for us on it’s own. When I was going through my post-pregnancy I made amends with my daughter and myself as an “almost mother” before I began to deal with my body. That process actually helped me look at my body in a different way and see my expanded hips as a gift rather than a curse. Trust me there are still some clothes I wish I could get back into (because they’re fly!) but I wouldn’t have changed the journey for anything. I hope this is helpful. Feel free to contact me if you want to manifest more clarity around your particular food relationship and body