Yes! That’s right, I got rid of 132 pounds of weight this year.  Feel free to gasp in glory and drop your jaws in awe!  That’s what I did with a smile when I looked in the mirror with complete adoration for my reflection.

So you wanna know how I did it, right?  Good, because I’m gonna tell ya.  But first things first.  If you’ve been following EatRelateLove for a while then you know how I roll, however if you’re new ‘roun’ these parts then let me give you a heads up.

If you’re looking for a complete listing of my dietary intake over the past year, or a “trim your tummy” fitness routine or the  latest fad diet that gives quick results . . . you won’t find it here.  I preach the pillar “Don’t diet, Try It!”. So you can guarantee that all of the recipes that you have seen on the blog have been part of my weight loss plan.  Including this Tres Leches French Toast.

What you will find is the truth behind weight loss.  Unless you have a medical condition for being overweight, your weight loss success starts with your emotional wellness.  Here’s a shocking truth:

“The root of your body and food issues have nothing to do with “disciplined eating and exercise”.

Good. Now that that’s settled, I’m glad you’re still reading.

In February of 2012 I weighed my heaviest that I ever weighed in life.  I clocked in at 177 lbs.  I remember stepping off the scale and looking at myself and saying, “you have got to change and you have to start with love.”  In the midst of having recently lost my father, dealing with the change of several significant relationships,  and relocating from Atlanta to New York, I was heavy y’all . . . really, really heavy.  Yet only 32 of the pounds that I lost were physical the other 100 pounds were all emotional/spiritual baggage that I had to unpack.  Unpacking wasn’t easy yet I’m grateful that I chose to dust off, sort out and rid my life of unnecessary baggage.

Through the process, I discovered some useful gems that you can apply to ridding yourself of weight anywhere in your life!

1. You have to Lose the Hate in order to Lose the Weight

So many women that I work with as clients tell me how much they despise their bodies.  They can’t stand to look at themselves in the mirror and barely see their bodies when they get dressed or shower.  They carry around a self-loathing, a lack of appreciation and love and a silent despair that they are “stuck” with their bodies and nothing can change it.  This type of self-despair identity only breeds more of itself.  Some women may not loathe their body but they may loathe some aspect of their life which affects their body.  For me, I didn’t loathe my body at all, instead I carried unhealed “daddy issues” and that energy affected my relationship with food which affected my body.  In either scenario, the lack of love produces a feeling of low esteem, low self-worth and low value.  When you feel that way, you unconsciously or consciously pass those “feelings” to your body as well.

2.  Ask and Allow Your Best Body to Come Through

Permission granting is probably one of the dopest things you can do for your body.  Here’s the truth, everything that you were, are and will be already exists.  However nothing and I mean nothing can come into your awareness if you do not desire it to.  Desire is the operative word here.  Your desire = your command = your ask.  A lot of the women that I have worked with had no idea that they were keeping their best bodies at bay.  What does that mean?  They really never asked for it.  They didn’t really believe that it was possible to lose the weight.

I too forgot at one point and then I remembered by strolling down memory lane and looking at pictures of myself in healthier and  happier times.  Those pictures helped me understand that if I could be “that body” once, then I can be it again.  I used that memory like gold in my weight loss.  Every time I looked in the mirror, I remembered how beautiful I was and therefore how beautiful I am.  I gave myself and my body permission to resurface.  When I did that, everything that was not “that body” had no choice but to go away.

3. Discover the Joys of Emotional Eating : Feelings over Food

Ha! Can you believe it?  Such a thing is possible? Yes honey, such a thing is possible.  Emotions have gotten a bad rap over the years and I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to be “emotional”.  Yet for the woman who feels and feeds, emotional eating is a component of her emotional wellness.  That statement right there saved my life and it can save yours.

The sooner you realize that your draw to food is not about being undisciplined and greedy but rather about a need to feel deeply, you will be able to shift the way you engage with emotional eating.  The key is that when you become emotional, instead of choosing food,  learn to choose your feelings.  You can begin by placing your feelings on a plate of love and non-judgmental understanding and then pick them a part slowly, digesting each one until there is nothing left but the core of who you are. By the time you’re finished, you will be so full of love and gratitude that you won’t have any room for food.

4. Be WellFed

What does that mean?  It means to create and live a life where you are satiated in every single area of your life (emotional, spiritual, physical, financial, relational, etc.). I can’t stress this enough.  When I got off that scale and read 177 lbs, it hit me that it had been three years since I was really WellFed in my life.  When I quit my teaching job to do EatRelateLove full time, I became so immersed in creating and running a business that I forgot to enjoy my life. I remember when I used to dance and travel and cook for fun and get lost on the swings at random parks and laugh when the moon was high in the sky.

Once I remembered that part of me, I chose to feed her the activities, thoughts and relationships that would help her be WellFed again.  Not only did I feed my life, I also began to feed my body again by paying attention to what I craved.  I let those cravings serve me by exploring them instead of ignoring them. If you’ve been following my blog then you know that I’m no stranger to indulgence.

You can begin by asking yourself where in your life are you not WellFed? What would it take for you to wake up satiated and grateful to enjoy a new day?

5. Invest and Commit to Body Food Freedom

The Body Food Freedom Formula™ was one of my most successful digital program offerings this summer! It was a body of work that I created as a result of being committed to helping women bathe in clarity and know that the love they seek for their bodies, their lives and their relationships is REAL and not just reserved for their dreams.  I know that you need to remember that you are not a failure, despite all of your “failed diets”. You don’t have to give up what you love to experience love.  As a matter of fact if you love chocolate and macaroni and cheese, know that there is room for that in your life and it won’t sabotage your best body.  As a matter of fact, BodyFoodFreedom helps you to identify the root of your weight issues, clear out the clutter that’s blocking your weight loss and give you the guidelines in which you can maintain and enjoy your new body after you’ve lost the weight!

After getting rid of 132 lbs there is no way, I’ll ever gain it back.  Instead I gained my esteem, my worth, my value, my confidence and a deeper love that’s been radiating in and out enhancing the rest of my life.  Now let’s enhance yours!