I teach women how to live a Well Fed life.
Being well fed in your life means more than eating from the various food groups designated by the FDA.
It means feeding all of your “selves” nutrition. Your mental, your spiritual, your emotional, your physical and your relational must all be fed rich, abundant sources of nutrition and love.
But what happens when you’re in the void and all you crave or can access are junk foods?
I had a deep personal experience in the past three weeks, and I had the very same struggle + solution.
It’s been three weeks, since I’ve officially made New York my home. For those of you that have been following me for a while, you know that I have been frequenting this city for the past ten years. And after going back and forth between Atlanta and New York, I recently decided to call New York home.
Yet the transition was not as easy as I thought it would be. I was feeling a huge void and I could not get myself to be in it and feed it what it needed to be well.
Last Fall, I made a decision to break up with my then boyfriend. Finally accepting and embracing what I knew to be my truth:
~ there was a HIM that I knew to be my ONE and I strongly desired that connection that I felt deep in my soul. Whenever I looked at my then boyfriend, I knew that he wasn’t him. It saddened me because he was such a nice, loving and generous guy. I thought that maybe I was tripping or in a place where I couldn’t receive love. I was also dealing with the then impending death of my father and really facing the challenge of how I handle masculine energy and male relationships in my life.
Yet, the one thing I KNEW was that, relationships are like puzzle pieces. You meet someone and even though you may like them, they simply don’t fit. It’s not a fault of yours or theirs, it’s simply a Universal design that we all must surrender to at some point.
“When you create relationships that fit in your life, then you also create opportunities to be Well Fed and nourished constantly.”
The break up was last Fall so why did I feel a second dose of it this Spring?
The very energy of the Spring season is about giving birth to something new. In my case, I was birthing a new me. An available for love me. A freer me. An “I’m ready for HIM” me. Yet when you give birth, some of the older parts of you are afraid to die. Not knowing that they’re not really dying, they’re simply transitioning into a more Well Fed life. Because my ex boyfriend lives in NY, the old me was questioning whether or not I made the right decision. Even though I had never questioned it since I broke up with him last Fall. The new me was in a huge void, much like a baby about to be born.
The void was empty yet filled with a range of emotion that I did not know how to embrace nor access.
So I substituted it with emotional and physical junk food.
The emotional junk food looked like me entertaining possibilities of getting back with my ex even though I knew that I really didn’t want that. But that type of junk food is one of my defaults when I’m having a hard time being in the void. The physical junk food looked like me indulging on what this city has to offer. Restaurants! Dinners with friends! Random cool food vendors! All of them serving as distractions from me being in the void.
Even though I didn’t engage the most Well Fed practices in the past 3 weeks, I did access the Well Fed practice of inquiry and it saved me!
Ask, Feel, Allow, Process.
I constantly asked myself:
“Why was I trying to create something that I really didn’t want?”
“What would I sacrifice in my future, if I denied myself the experience of the void and went back to what I knew?”
“Why am I afraid to truly allow myself exactly what I’ve asked for (i.e. HIM)?”
“Is this fear real or is there another feeling / freedom that I can choose in this moment?”
“What ‘food’ do I need to be Well Fed in this moment (yoga, friends, juice, walk in park, intimacy, journaling, etc.) ?”
“It’s easy to choose life’s junk food when you don’t believe in the value of what you truly desire.”
It’s worth it to be Well Fed, especially when you’re in the void, because you make room for the more in your life.
Being a Well Fed woman is a conscious choice. Through the void, valleys and great vibes in our lives, we can always choose to feed ourselves what we truly need.
How do you consciously choose to be Well Fed in your life, even when all you want is ‘junk food’ ? Share in the comments below!